The 5 Phrases That Instantly Destroy Customer Service (And What to Say Instead)
I have a confession: I can’t turn it off anymore.
After years of teaching customer service to dental teams, I’ve become that person. You know the one. The person who notices every single customer service fail in the wild. The person who mentally rewrites interactions while they’re happening. The person who walks out of Staples or the doctor’s office and immediately thinks, “Well, THAT’S going into my next training.”
I’m ruined. Completely ruined. And honestly? I’m okay with it.
Because here’s what I’ve learned from my recent adventures in being a customer: the same frustrating phrases that drive me crazy at the doctor’s office, at Staples, at the grocery store—those exact same phrases are probably slipping out at your front desk too. And your patients are noticing. They’re just too polite to tell you.
Let me take you on a little journey through my early January customer service hall of shame. These are real stories, real phrases, and real missed opportunities. And yes, I’m going to show you exactly what your team should say instead.
The Doctor’s Office Insurance Incident: “That’s Not My Job”
Picture this: January 2nd. I’m checking in for a doctor’s appointment. There’s an insurance issue that needs clarification. Simple stuff. I start to ask a question and before I can even finish my sentence, the receptionist cuts me off.
“That’s not my job. Insurance department will have to look into that when they come in.”
Then, without missing a beat, she slides a form across the counter. “But I need you to sign this saying you’ll pay if insurance doesn’t cover it.”
Wait. What?
You can’t answer my insurance question, but you’re very efficient about making sure I’m on the hook financially? The irony wasn’t lost on me. But here’s what really elevated my blood pressure: she wouldn’t let me finish a single sentence. Every time I started to speak, she cut me off with another version of “not my job” or “insurance handles that.”
I wasn’t asking her to file the claim. I wasn’t demanding she call the insurance company. I just wanted to be heard long enough to ask a complete question.
Why This Destroys Trust:
When you tell a patient “that’s not my job,” what they hear is “you’re not my problem.” Even worse, when you cut them off mid-sentence, you’re communicating that their concern doesn’t matter enough for you to even listen to it. And then asking them to sign financial responsibility? Now you’ve created a patient who feels cornered and unheard.
What to Say Instead:
“I can see you have questions about your insurance coverage, and I want to make sure you get accurate information. Let me get you the name and number for our insurance coordinator, and I’ll make a note that you need to speak with someone before your appointment. Is there anything I CAN help you with right now while we’re getting that sorted out?”
See the difference? You’ve acknowledged their concern, pointed them toward a solution, and kept the door open to help with what you CAN control. Nobody feels dismissed. Nobody feels unheard.
The Staples Standoff: “Just Wait Over There”
I needed to pick up something I’d printed online. I walked into Staples and headed to the print counter. Nobody there. I waited. Still nobody. So I walked over to the cashier who was actively ringing up customers and politely asked, “Is someone working at the print counter?”
She didn’t even look up. “Just wait over there and someone will be with you.”
“Okay, but how will they know I’m waiting if no one’s there?”
Still not looking at me: “Just wait over there and someone will be with you.”
It was like talking to a very unhelpful robot. She clearly had no idea whether anyone was even working that counter. She just wanted me out of her space so she could continue ringing up the customer in front of her.
Thankfully, a manager nearby overheard and explained that the print counter employee had called out sick, and that I should stay at the counter and they’d call for manager assistance. Problem solved—but only because the manager was paying attention.
Why This Destroys Trust:
When you give a response with zero thought behind it, customers know. We can tell when you’re just saying words to make us go away. It’s dismissive, it’s lazy, and it communicates that you couldn’t care less about solving our actual problem. You just want us to stop talking.
What to Say Instead:
“That’s a great question—let me find out for you. I’m not sure if anyone is scheduled at that counter right now, but I don’t want you waiting if no one’s coming. Give me just a moment to check with my manager.”
Takes five extra seconds. Shows you actually heard the question. Treats the customer like a human being whose time matters.
The “I Don’t Know” Dead End
On another recent outing, I asked a simple question at a retail store. The employee looked at me and said, “I don’t know.”
Then… nothing. Just stood there. No offer to find out. No suggestion of who might know. No acknowledgment that maybe, just maybe, I’d like some help figuring it out.
Just: “I don’t know.” End of conversation.
Why This Destroys Trust:
“I don’t know” isn’t the problem. Not knowing something is perfectly human and perfectly acceptable. The problem is stopping there. When you end with “I don’t know,” you’ve communicated that your involvement in solving this problem ends at the exact boundary of your personal knowledge. The customer is now on their own.
What to Say Instead:
“I don’t know the answer to that, but I want to find out for you. Let me ask my manager,” or “Let me check our system,” or “Let me see if someone in the back knows.”
And if you truly can’t find the answer? “I’ve checked with a few people and we’re not finding that information here. You might want to try calling our main customer service line at [number], and they should be able to help. I’m sorry I couldn’t solve this for you myself.”
You’ve acknowledged the gap in your knowledge, you’ve made an effort, and you’ve pointed them toward the next step. That’s all customers want.
What Does This Have to Do With Your Dental Practice?
Everything.
Here’s what I know after years of teaching dental teams: we think we’re different because we’re healthcare providers. We think patients will stick with us because they need us. We think the rules of customer service don’t apply the same way because we’re “medical professionals,” not retail.
Wrong. So wrong.
Your patients judge your practice by the same customer service standards they use everywhere else. When your front desk cuts them off mid-sentence about insurance, they feel the same frustration I felt at the doctor’s office. When your team says “I don’t know” and offers nothing else, they feel the same dismissal I felt at that retail store. When your scheduler tells them “that’s not my job,” they start looking for another provider.
You might be a healthcare provider, but you are absolutely in the service industry. And your patients can easily find another dentist. There are probably five within a ten-mile radius of your practice. The technical quality of your dentistry might be excellent, but if your customer service is awful, they’ll never come back to experience it.
The Top 5 Phrases That Destroy Customer Service (And What to Say Instead)
1. “That’s not my job.”
Why it fails: It tells the patient they’ve bothered the wrong person and now it’s their problem to figure out who the right person is.
Say this instead: “That’s handled by [specific person/department], and I want to make sure you get the right information. Let me connect you with them right now,” or “Let me find out who can help you with that.”
The principle: You might not be able to solve their problem, but you can own the next step of connecting them to someone who can.
2. “Just wait [with no context or timeline].”
Why it fails: It shows zero investment in their time or concern. It’s a brush-off, not customer service.
Say this instead: “I need to check on that for you. It should take about 2-3 minutes. Can you have a seat and I’ll come find you as soon as I have an answer?” or “I’m helping another patient right now, but you’re next and I’ll be with you in just a few minutes. Thanks for your patience.”
The principle: Give them context. Give them a timeline. Show that you see them and their time matters.
3. “I don’t know [with no follow-up].”
Why it fails: It ends the conversation and leaves the customer stranded with their unanswered question.
Say this instead: “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out for you. Give me just a moment,” or “I’m not sure, but Dr. Smith would know. Let me grab them for you.”
The principle: “I don’t know” is fine. “I don’t know and I’m not helping you find out” is not.
4. “[Insert excuse or problem] so I can’t help you.”
Why it fails: It makes your operational problems the patient’s problem. They don’t care that you’re short-staffed or the computer is slow or the insurance coordinator is at lunch. They have a need, and you’re telling them why that need can’t be met.
Say this instead: “We’re running a few minutes behind today, but I want to make sure we take good care of you. Can I get you some water while you wait?” or “Our system is running slowly this morning—I appreciate your patience while this loads. Tell me about your appointment today while we wait.”
The principle: Acknowledge the issue, but focus on what you CAN do, not what you can’t.
5. [Cutting them off or talking over them]
Why it fails: It communicates that what they’re saying isn’t worth hearing. It elevates frustration faster than almost anything else.
Say this instead: Let them finish. Period. Then respond: “I understand you’re concerned about [repeat back what they said]. Here’s what I can do to help…” or “Thank you for explaining that. Let me see what I can find out.”
The principle: People need to feel heard before they can hear solutions. If you interrupt them, they’ll never calm down enough to listen to you.
The Customer Service Truth Your Team Needs to Hear
Your patients don’t expect you to know everything. They don’t expect you to solve every problem in 30 seconds. They don’t expect perfection.
What they DO expect:
- To be heard without interruption
- To be treated like their concern matters
- To be given clear next steps when you can’t solve something immediately
- To feel like you see them as a person, not an inconvenience
That’s it. That’s the whole list.
And here’s what’s beautiful about this: great customer service doesn’t require special skills or years of training. It requires basic human decency, a willingness to listen, and the humility to say “I’ll find out” instead of “not my job.”
How to Train Your Team on What NOT to Say
Here’s what works at Front Office Rocks: role-playing real scenarios with real phrases.
Have your team act out situations where they’re tempted to use one of these five phrases. Let them feel how awkward it is to say “that’s not my job” out loud. Then have them practice the alternative responses until they sound natural.
Record common patient questions and the WRONG responses. Play them at a team meeting. Let your team cringe together and then brainstorm better alternatives.
Create a “what not to say” poster for your break room. Make it funny. Make it memorable. Remind your team that every patient interaction is a chance to build trust or destroy it.
And most importantly: lead by example. If your team hears YOU cutting patients off, saying “that’s not my job,” or giving the dead-end “I don’t know,” they’ll do the same. Model the behavior you want to see.
Yes, I’m Ruined—And Your Patients Are Too
The truth is, your patients have been ruined by good customer service experiences just like I have. They’ve been to businesses where they felt heard, valued, and cared for. They know what great service feels like. And when they don’t get it at your practice, they notice.
They might not say anything. They’ll just quietly find another dentist.
So here’s my challenge: this month, listen to your team’s actual words with patients. Not what they intend to communicate—what they actually say. Listen for these five phrases. And when you hear them, coach immediately.
Because your technical dentistry might be flawless, but if your customer service is destroying trust at the front desk, none of that matters.
Your patients will leave. They’ll leave for a practice with slightly less impressive credentials but a front desk that actually makes them feel heard.
Don’t let that be your story.
